Pictures

These are a few photos I've taken recently. The first one is edited and put slightly towards the red spectrum. The second is not edited.  Click to enlarge to full size.

Pride vs. Conceit, Confidence vs. Arrogance

When does it come time to finally put your foot down? Why do I continue to let people put me down and belittle me?  The blatant ignorance of some people just makes my blood boil. Some people think I am a lowlife...but those people have no idea about the things I do in my life to just keep on going. I can honestly say that I have done pretty decent for myself, compared to some of the people in this world. I have never been arrested. I am not living on the streets. I am not prostituting myself or other people for money and drugs. I know that I may not have accomplished everything there is to accomplish in life, but I must say that I came out pretty damn decent. There are a lot of people in this world who are total fuck-ups. Yeah, I have had some problems in my life. I am still a good person and I am a better person for coming out those problems in one piece. There were many times I wanted to give up on my life. I am finally starting to realize that life is worth it and I need to stay here. It's taken me a while to come to that conclusion. It's been a slow, daunting process. I am still working on it; I am working on myself every day of my life. I have my good days and my bad days, I know we all do. I also know that I am worth something in this world, and it's going to take a lot more than people talking out of their ass to bring me down. People think I am a bitch, but the truth is, I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It's up to you to choose the side you want to be on. Put me down for no reason? Chances are I won't want anything to do with you. Treat me with the respect I deserve? We'll be good. The self-absorbed nature of people today really makes me sick. There is a BIG difference between pride and conceit/self absorption. The people that I admire most in life are the ones that are humble about their accomplishments, not the ones who rub your face in them like it was a pile of shit. Once again, pride, not conceit. I don't appreciate people who think they are Mother Teresa. Some people need a slice of humble pie and to get off of their high horse and walk like the rest of us. There is confidence and then there is total arrogance. Learn the difference.

Imagery

Odd/creepy picture day.

Much ado about Weasels.

I swear, Zangief get more and more awesome every day. We changed out his bedding and he is no longer pooping in the cage besides the litter pan and one other corner. I have been hand feeding him and praising him with treats when he goes potty where he's supposed to, so maybe the incentive is helping. He has become much more social over the past few days as well. He is very active and never stays still, unless he is hungry and he wants to be handfed. I enjoy handfeeding him personally, it makes me feel like he trusts me. He also sleeps in his hammock a lot more now that we changed his bedding (He was sleeping in the litter pan, and pooping everywhere else, yuck). To see a ferret curled up in a little ball, with his little feet in the air is such a funny sight. He is now also learning about the joys of being outside. He is a runner and bolts all over the place, so we must be very careful. We had originally purchased a harness for him, but it turned out to be too big around the midsection area. I took to the sewing kits and made some adjustments. It fits now, and he can be strapped in (without slipping out!) and taken outside for a walk on a leash! Not for too long, considering the weather, but he can actually enjoy it now and we can feel safe. The best time to get the harness on him is when he's sleeping or just woke up and is disoriented. Otherwise he wriggles all over the place. I really love this little guy, and while he may have been expensive, my boyfriend and I are enamored with him and he is so awesome to have around. Next, we are going to work on turning a large cage into a two layer cage, complete with ramps, tubes, and who knows what else to keep Zangief entertained!

Wacky Water Weasels, ferrets and such.

Not to long ago, my boyfriend and I decided to go to the pet store and buy a ferret. He is a pretty awesome animal, but he is a handful. I know that he is young, less than a year old. The environment  that he was in before we got him a was a group environment, he was not litter trained, and he still hasn't gotten it yet. I love him to death, but I find it irritating that he sleeps in his litter pan and pisses and shits in every corner but that one.....He's so odd. He went as far as to crap and pee in his food, but not in his litter pan. Why is he not differentiating his bedding form his bathroom?? Either way, we are still trying to learn him on the ways of litter training.Until then....watching him sleep on his back in his poop-free litter pan is amusing. He does love sleeping in his hammock.(which you can see in the background).. I have never seen an animal as interesting as this one. They are a real handful, being very slinky and able to get behind and under nearly everything, but I still love the little guy. He is such a wonderful companion. Everyone should have one!

Interesting Recipe

This is called the Bacon Cheese Turtleburger.


"Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave…then the next step, add Hebrew National hotdogs as the heads, legs and tail. Next step? Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees. A little crispy, not too crunchy…just how a turtle should be, no?"

Source:
http://foodbeast.com/content/2010/02/13/bacon-cheese-turtleburger/

It's never set in stone

I think as humans we pride ourselves on routine. It's how we budget our time. Life usually depends on it. How often does something go awry or not according to plan? I think we deal with this every day and do not even realize. Something as little as oversleeping can change the course of your entire day. All of a sudden becoming sick can do the same thing. As hard as we try to maintain some sort of constant in our lives, this constant we seek is always being pushed aside. Is it because, in reality, we subconsciously crave spontaneity and something out of the ordinary? Do we stress out and get scared because we are not used to it, even though we crave it? Change in any aspect of life is definitely a trigger for the stress and anxiety that some people have. No one likes change, but somehow we end up bored with the same old routine. Most times, we depend on routines just to live a normal day-to-day existence... say you lose employment. This change could be detrimental to the routine that you may have. This can include bills, rent, mortgage, car payments, etc. That routine most likely depended on the hours and wages earned at work. What do you do when that suddenly changes? It's nearly impossible to go through this without some sort of uncertainty. Nothing is set in stone, and sometimes, I think we need to take the changes that are thrown towards us in stride. Today could be the hardest day of your life, but if you get through it, chances are you may be handsomely rewarded. You never know.

Snow White, very interesting picture

Contemplation (follow up to reminiscent moment)

sometimes I wonder about my life. Not much has even changed in the past 6 years. Times are difficult. Jobs are hard to come by. people treat me like crap because I do not work currently. I do what I have to to earn my keep where it matters, which is at home.That's all I care about. Taking care of my family how I can, and making my boyfriend happy because he means the world to me, I hope we continue to be as happy as we are, even during the rough patches, so we can have a great life together. So, I guess things have changed, but I still feel like I'm not going anywhere. But this world certainly is not going anywhere either. maybe everything is at a stand still. Are we going anywhere? Are we progressing? regressing? Digressing? What is even going on anymore? Why is it that people who generally try to be genuine to others and make people happy in life are the ones struggling. Why is that? While the other half lives wonderfully while they treat others like dirt. I have no clue. sometimes i really wonder why we are dealt the hands we are in this game of Texas Hold "Em LIFE EDITION. It's just inane to think that there are people out there who have gone to school for 2-4 maybe even 6+ years...and have nothing to show for it but a pocket full of debt. I went to college briefly. The debt from that is ridiculous. Now think about the people who go for that many years and end up and working at the local movie theater for a measly 8 bucks. Why? because frankly, this world has turned to shit. Everyone knows it. I wish there was something I could do, but everyone else has fucked it up beyond repair. I know I am rambling now, but sometimes you just have to get shit out. That's what this freaking blog is about in the first place. Long story short....the world has drastically changed...yet everyone in it stuck in the same spot..... it makes me wonder where I am going to be in ten years? Are we even going to be here? Who knows? I am not even sure if I care.

La diarrea es muy peligrosa dele a su nino a suero oral

Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh

Rooster Zebra Contemplating Grilled Cheese

Original Image by Matt Forderer

Peace Pole Project for Emma.

Emma Casey was an amazing human being who touched many hearts and lives in the 15 years that she was here on Earth. Emma passed away on June 13th, 2005. It will be 5 years since then in 2 days. Her 21st birthday would have been September 21st. September 21st is "International Day of Peace". The goal is to have 21 Peace Poles donated and put up around the world, in honor of the peace that Emma tried her hardest to spread around this universe. It would be amazing to see this come true, for such an amazing individual. I miss you everyday, Emma. <3 Visit http://www.facebook.com/pages/Peace-Pole-Project-for-Emma/126540814035097 for more information on what you can do to help this cause.

Here comes Dr. Tran! (From LoneSausage® © and MondoMedia® ©)

Business Boom

There are so many companies today that are producers of more than one product. take BIC® for example (Manufacturer of stationery products, lighters and shavers). There are other companies that that produce thousands of products spanning all different categories of usage. The number of companies out there that produce everything we consume and use to live may be high, but in comparison to how it was once, the difference is sometimes vast. Cell phone providers have monopolized and joined forces, making half as many companies as there were 10 years ago. Many companies do this. Monopolization is the way of the future. One day there may not even be half of the companies and corporations there currently are due to monopolization and different companies joining forces to create a massive conglomerate. Eventually the day will come when 5 or less giant huge conglomerate companies rule the world and produce everything. EVERYTHING. From your car to your toothpaste. From you hair products to peanut butter.....There are no limits.

P-A-I-N-T

Smoking my inspiration

I must say that there were times in my life I never thought I could escape my depression and anxiety, as well as all my other mental and physical ailments. All I can say now is this country better NORMLize really soon. We're missing out on one hell of a way to boost the economy. There's no reason for anyone (or everyone) to be struggling like this. There are also so many medical benefits that some people don't even believe in. I do, however. I believe that this world could be a much better place. Alcohol is legal, yet it causes such pain and heartache for some families, as well as accidents and death...The prison systems would have more room if nonviolent, misdemeanor drug offenses were just thrown out sans jail time. Thought?

A hairy communist bolts.

Just a reminiscent moment

It's crazy sometimes for me to think that I graduated high school, the end of this month of June, 6 years ago. 6?? Where has the time gone in between? Why am I still stuck in a rut? I know that I cannot dwell. I just can't believe that 6 years has passed; I remember high school vividly...that's not always a good thing. I struggled when I was a teenager and even as a child with depression, weight issues, especially now. Mostly weight issues, but not as much of the depression. I have my good days and bad days. 6 years is a long time, if you think about it. 6 years is also a short period of time if you want to talk about progress. Depression is for a lifetime, usually, if it a chemical imbalance of sorts, as mine is. I have been on and off of medication since I was 16..that's coming up on 8 years now. I can say I have made progress. Not without many setbacks when I was still younger (not even 20 yet), but I got through those. I can happily say I am on the least amount of medication I ever was, so that's progress to me. I am a recovering and former self injurer as well. Most who know me well understand and may have dealt with similar issues. I have anxiety which manifests itself in the form of certain OCD behaviors. I've learned to deal with it. I'm still young. I still struggle with bi polar type depression to this day, but I know how to handle it better. I learned when I got out of school that life is only going to get harder and that I need to focus on bettering myself to strengthen up for that. I believe we all have a time in our lives where we wonder if we can go on. I have had them, I have gotten through them, fortunately, but not always smoothly. I have had my share of depression induced behaviors and moments I am not proud of. I came to the conclusion that it would never be worth it to end my life, no matter what. I bare scars that I am not proud of, but at the same time, I am not ashamed. It shaped me into the person I am today. 6 years later, I can say I have made enough progress to actually start to enjoy life with minimal extra help. I don't want it to seem like I am glorifying mental illness, but there are a lot of people in this world who I honestly believe, to their dying day, that they have nothing wrong with them. The truth is, so many people experience depression, anxiety, suicidal thought, etc etc, and are ashamed. So many people are bullied in high school and as children, and that can bring anyone down. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Then, there are times that people truly feel that it's the only way out. It isn't I don't feel anyone should be ashamed to want to ask for help if they are feeling depressed. It happens to the best of us, and it doesn't make you or I or anyone else a lesser person for having to experience and cope with such disorders. High school was difficult for someone like me, feeling singled out as the odd kind of girl...even though towards then end of high school I stopped caring and made friends with all different types of people I never, ever thought would even be in the same room with me without wanting to make fun of me. Regardless....now I realize that the popularity contest bullcrap is so juvenile...and it seems like it was only yesterday! I remember it all! But it was so long ago. We are more than halfway to the 10 year reunion [start saving up kiddies, their going to rape our wallets, that's why I have this blogger!! ;) ] and things have definitely changed. You realize that the one person you have to deal with for the  rest of your life is none other than...YOURSELF. Boyfriends, friends they come and go...unless you're one of the lucky ones. But keeping the people around that you cherish isn't only luck. treat them with kindness and let them know how much care. The good ones will stick around. Even 6 years later.

Music and life

What does it mean to me? What has music done for me? I know for me it has inspired me to keep going in life when there were times when I didn't think I could. It's amazing what music can do. It can take you away to a place where you can escape from anything and everything. It can keep you from going over the deep end. I know it has for me. I can fall into a piece of music for hours....I have been highly inspired by Alice In Chains, who you see in the photo above. Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell were and are extremely talented musicians who I still idolize to this day. Their music has the capability of putting me into a trance.... I love them.

What does music mean to you? Who is your favorite artist? How have they inspired you?

Dreams.

Sometimes I kind of like being woken up by my alarm out of nowhere in the middle of a dream. This morning I was woken by my alarm this morning and at that point in my dream I was having Krazy-Glue poured onto my lips and in my mouth by someone, I have no clue. It was the oddest things. I look back on these dreams I have and they make sense when they are happening, but when I wake up, there is no sense to these dreams at all. Not that I care. I just find it odd. Having dreams where my teeth fall out is also common, and according to dream books, that's pretty bad luck....Oh well. if it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all, now would I?

sometimes

I just feel like writing whatever comes to mind. My thoughts run rampant in my head to the point where I cannot silence them.