Just a reminiscent moment

It's crazy sometimes for me to think that I graduated high school, the end of this month of June, 6 years ago. 6?? Where has the time gone in between? Why am I still stuck in a rut? I know that I cannot dwell. I just can't believe that 6 years has passed; I remember high school vividly...that's not always a good thing. I struggled when I was a teenager and even as a child with depression, weight issues, especially now. Mostly weight issues, but not as much of the depression. I have my good days and bad days. 6 years is a long time, if you think about it. 6 years is also a short period of time if you want to talk about progress. Depression is for a lifetime, usually, if it a chemical imbalance of sorts, as mine is. I have been on and off of medication since I was 16..that's coming up on 8 years now. I can say I have made progress. Not without many setbacks when I was still younger (not even 20 yet), but I got through those. I can happily say I am on the least amount of medication I ever was, so that's progress to me. I am a recovering and former self injurer as well. Most who know me well understand and may have dealt with similar issues. I have anxiety which manifests itself in the form of certain OCD behaviors. I've learned to deal with it. I'm still young. I still struggle with bi polar type depression to this day, but I know how to handle it better. I learned when I got out of school that life is only going to get harder and that I need to focus on bettering myself to strengthen up for that. I believe we all have a time in our lives where we wonder if we can go on. I have had them, I have gotten through them, fortunately, but not always smoothly. I have had my share of depression induced behaviors and moments I am not proud of. I came to the conclusion that it would never be worth it to end my life, no matter what. I bare scars that I am not proud of, but at the same time, I am not ashamed. It shaped me into the person I am today. 6 years later, I can say I have made enough progress to actually start to enjoy life with minimal extra help. I don't want it to seem like I am glorifying mental illness, but there are a lot of people in this world who I honestly believe, to their dying day, that they have nothing wrong with them. The truth is, so many people experience depression, anxiety, suicidal thought, etc etc, and are ashamed. So many people are bullied in high school and as children, and that can bring anyone down. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Then, there are times that people truly feel that it's the only way out. It isn't I don't feel anyone should be ashamed to want to ask for help if they are feeling depressed. It happens to the best of us, and it doesn't make you or I or anyone else a lesser person for having to experience and cope with such disorders. High school was difficult for someone like me, feeling singled out as the odd kind of girl...even though towards then end of high school I stopped caring and made friends with all different types of people I never, ever thought would even be in the same room with me without wanting to make fun of me. Regardless....now I realize that the popularity contest bullcrap is so juvenile...and it seems like it was only yesterday! I remember it all! But it was so long ago. We are more than halfway to the 10 year reunion [start saving up kiddies, their going to rape our wallets, that's why I have this blogger!! ;) ] and things have definitely changed. You realize that the one person you have to deal with for the  rest of your life is none other than...YOURSELF. Boyfriends, friends they come and go...unless you're one of the lucky ones. But keeping the people around that you cherish isn't only luck. treat them with kindness and let them know how much care. The good ones will stick around. Even 6 years later.